It is easy to tell Keli Byers that she can just go find another school, or that she just doesn't understand how the Honor Code and the Law of Chastity help to keep us safe. I am sure she has heard both of those statements multiple times, but it goes much deeper than that.
There is truly a crisis happening in our world and we need to ban together, united on our foundation of Jesus Christ and his gospel, and show others the truth. Without the gospel, we are missing the essential piece that is eternity.
The gospel is simple. It is pure. There are no grey areas.
The disconnect happens when people, with good intentions, try to change others by force. The truth is that we all struggle in certain areas, and we would not be willing to change simply because someone else told us to. It would take a change of the heart, which is a process.
Let me put it this way, to ask someone to change his or her views instantly is like asking an investigator (someone learning about the Church) to get baptized on the first day of meeting the missionaries, complete with a lifestyle change (Law of Chastity & Word of Wisdom) and an understanding of the Book of Mormon, modern-day prophets, Joseph Smith, etc. We would never require this of the new members of the Church because we understand that conversion takes time. Change takes time.
Okay, back on topic here. Upon reading the story from Keli in Cosmopolitan, I found myself wandering onto the BYU feminists website (stay with me, here) and I found this story.
I think the proper response to both articles comes in the form of a letter.
Dear Friend Who Needs to Know,
Christ loves you. He truly understands your pains, struggles, and sorrows. He knows you personally and has a plan for your life.
Though I'm sure you already know, the gospel is freeing. The power of the Atonement can change our outlook on life. It can help us to become perfect, as our Heavenly Father is. And if we all have the common goal of becoming perfected, we can work through our misunderstandings, challenges, and trials. Because of Christ's infinite Atonement, we are able to continue toward perfection.
The truth, Beena, is that we do want you. Every bit of who you are is welcome in the Church. We are not perfect, and we do not expect anyone else to be perfect. What we expect is an earnest desire and a willingness to grow and become like Christ.
Keli, we have all sinned. We know what it is like to feel like we have done more than we can be forgiven of. But, through repentance, the Atonement can bring you comfort and peace.
Understand, sisters, that the issue is not BYU standards, nor the attitudes of those in the Church. The heart of the matter is the gospel of Jesus Christ and what it means to be a part of it.
By living our lives in a righteous manner (though we make mistakes), we can grow closer to our Father in Heaven and we can feel the joy that comes from the gospel. We can bring that light to others who are in need, and we can help them to grow.
Stop comparing yourselves with others. Know your true worth is infinitely important. What you have done is of no concern because we are all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, and that is what matters in the end.
"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfected in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."
With love,
Someone Who Understands
We do not fully know the circumstances of these, or any other, members of the Church. What we do know is that we are all sons and daughters of our Father in Heaven. In the words of President Monson, "We must develop the capacity to see men [and women] not as they are at present but as they may become."
"His hand is always outstretched, no matter how deep we feel."
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